Lost Inside

What am I feeling inside when knowing that somethings are not meant to be?
What am I suppose to feel (hiding the true pain of lost away)?
What am I to make things go my own way?

The reason for my lost in this talentine was totally because of my vocals!
(Feeling so Hot inside! :@ Maybe because of the curry which I just taken =P) struggling to break my vocal chord or barrier or whatever-you-call-it which is holding me back in singing =P
First of all, according to Norman (one of the judges), I look like I'm struggling on stage (more of wanting to eat up the judges) =P
Secondly, , I sounded so plain without any vocal effect such as vibrato (which I'm still struggling to learn!) or forcetto (which is not so encouraged by my 'pro'er friend).
Thirdly, I'm not singing through my stomach but through my nose and throat? O.o
...

Gosh! Why am I acting this way?! O.o 4th placing is not bad for someone who took part performing in some talentshow for the first time of his life! I should be happy! =) My songs from before... let it die =) Hopefully, I can sell or give it to some people who really REALLY know how to sing in Hollywood!

Well, Alex and Leslie won their Group Singing Category in Valentine Talentine '09! =) Made me feel better... (don't know why :P) I may not win anything or attract anyone today (Valentine's Day) but I know I still have friends who could and would stand up for me and by me. Also, remembering the story of the True Valentine.... Life is never about myself to begin with and that was what I figured out before my life's U-turn =)

Somehow, I still can't figure out about this feeling inside... =/